The next day I woke up in A’s apartment, our ritual reinstated. We said our goodbyes and I headed back to the hostel to do some work for one of my clients. Ted and I had made plans to meet up at his place at 11 to grab some lunch, but he was nowhere to be found. I had been waiting two hours. This was kind of typical for Ted when we were not in close proximity. I gave up and started heading back to the hostel when I ran into him on the street. Apparently, he went to one of those surf schools down on the beach and completely forgot we were supposed to meet up. We ended up grabbing lunch anyway, meaning me grabbing lunch with him sitting there as he had already eaten.
We hung out a bit then headed back down Avenida Larco. Now at the end of Larco is the incredibly high-end hotel, JW Marriott. As we were walking down, there was security and a ring of teenyboppers with signs. Upon closer inspection, all these young ladies were waiting for the latest pop heartthrob Shawn Mendes. We hung out at the open-air mall again until it was time to go to a house party that A was throwing. It was supposed to be kind of a Christmas party with her friends from University. Unfortunately, Ted backed out. I went, hung out with her friends, drank a little bit, then crashed hard. I did not even hear A come into her bedroom.
I woke up really late the next day. So late, it was I that was late meeting Ted for lunch this time. After catching an Uber over to his hotel, we got lunch, then ice cream, then more ice cream. We walked back down to the mall where I had a beer and Ted got a fruity yogurt drink. We then parted ways for a bit as I needed to take a nap and do some work. Afterward, I met Ted and we went to an Amazonian restaurant for dinner. I did not know it at that time but the restaurant was featured by, you guessed it, Anthony Bourdain. The restaurant was called ámaZ and it was like walking into a high-end themed restaurant. The atmosphere was jungle-like with lots of greenery and wood. The restaurant specialized in hyperlocalized fruits and vegetables as well as meat from the jungle region of Peru. It was delicious.
After dinner, I made sure Ted got home and then headed over to A’s. As we were getting ready for bed, she popped the question about us traveling to Brazil for New Year’s together. I thought about it for a bit, then said yes. Her face lit up and she was very happy. Apparently, this was a country she really wanted to visit but had never had the chance.
I woke up the next day with A. She had breakfast with her sobrino (nephew.) I only bring up this point because even though I have been speaking Spanish for over 20 years, when I would be talking to strangers about my family, I confused the words sobrino with nieto meaning grandchild. Upon this realization, the perplexed faces of my memory suddenly made a lot more sense. Afterward, I headed back to the hostel to do some work and take a nap. We all decided to head to the beach as Ted and I were going to try our hand at surfing.
It was an interesting experience. I had been surfing before, in the cold, cold waters of Stinson Beach right outside of San Francisco. I was not very good. But I was also using s short board. I got my wetsuit, got my board, forgoing the included lesson, then tried walking down the unforgiving rocky beach barefoot while dodging the plethora of sea urchins before getting the water. In the hour we were out there, although it was crowded, I was able to get up once, while Ted not at all, with A was watching us from the beach.
Afterward, Ted and I cleaned up and all three of us went for Ted’s last dinner in Peru as he was leaving the next day. It was here where I tried the Peruvian delicacy of anticucho, or skewered chicken hearts. It was pretty good. We dropped Ted at the hotel then headed over to A’s as her cousin and his fiance were coming over. One of A’s side hustles was the manufacturing of women’s underwear with Peruvian cotton. She overestimated the market and had a few hundred made that she was perpetually trying to sell. The fiance was interested so that is why they were coming over. After that, we went to bed.
We woke up the next day and while we were walking Dante, we had a talk about Brazil. I was following her lead saying that maybe we could travel together for a few weeks and then go our separate ways. She did not seem to like that and said that we had an expiration date now. I tried not just letting it be, but she said it was fine. If there is one lesson that I have learned in my young life, it is that when a woman says something is fine, it is never fine. We hugged and kissed as she got in her Uber for work, but I could tell something was different. It would be on my mind for the rest of the day.
I went back to the hostel, relaxed a little, did some client work, and talked to my father. All the while thinking that a month in Brazil with a beautiful woman by my side might be nice, but we would still need to talk about it. We talked a little while she was at work, but she seemed to be shutting down some. I decided that the best course of action was to have a nice dinner and take my mind off of it for a bit.
I got up the next day feeling better about the situation and realized that we did not need an expiration date. A was very happy to hear that. I looked at the time and realized I was going to be late for my walking tour. I hopped an Uber and headed back downtown. The tour was not the best as my guide was basically a Peruvian Borat.
What was interesting was my first taste of Peruvian racism. Right outside of where I met the tour, there was a man doing something that apparently another man that was walking by did not like; panhandling was my guess. There was a heated argument and it came out that the first man was a refugee from Venezuela. The second man began berating him, telling him that he had no business in Peru and that all immigrants were scum and should go back to where they came from. The irony of ironies was that the Peruvian man was of Asian descent.
Peru was a haven for Asians for centuries. When there were issues with Chinese immigration to California in the 19th Century, culminating sometimes in people not being able to disembark from their boats, they traveled down the Western coasts until they found a friendly port, which included the ports of Peru. After World War II, much like how there was a lot of European immigration to the Eastern side of the continent, there was also a migration of Asians to the West.
After a tour with a guide that was unable to answer really any of my questions, I headed over to the Gran Hotel Bolivar again and had a Catedral Pisco Sour. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I had some taquitos and a beer to round it out. While I was there, I got a text from A telling me she needed her man. I felt I needed to oblige.
I went over to her place with a bottle of wine and met some of her friends. She was dressed to the nines, wearing heavy makeup that accentuated her Latina features. After stealing a few kisses from her in her bedroom, we all headed out to salsa night at a local club. It was fun. We then headed back to her place and called it a night.
The next day, we headed out to grab a little breakfast. Afterward, she had to go to the Ministry of Labor so she could fill out a report with them that she would be quitting her job. Peru has some of the most strident employment laws I had ever seen. Later, we were invited to her grandmother’s house for lunch in the posh neighborhood of San Isidro. Always being the consummate house guest, I stopped at a bakery beforehand and brought some cookies.
Abuelita was a lovely woman. She was born in Peru right after World War II but was from Spanish stock. Seeing the writing on the wall, she moved to Spain during her early 20’s with her two young daughters and while working for IBM, got her bachelor’s, master’s, and a doctorate in Psychology. She then came back to Peru and opened one of the most successful market research firms in the region. She had been involved with every presidential election and almost every product launch in the country. Needless to say, she was quite impressive. And also spoke pretty good English. I did not know that A’s half-brother lived with Abuelita and he would be joining us. He was young, in his mid-twenties, but was on the fast track to becoming a professor of linguistics. Apparently, he did some impressive work on Amazonian languages at a conference in Estonia so we had a little chat about that. Needless to say, lunch was very interesting. After lunch, we headed back to A’s where we took a nap, then had dinner, then went to bed.
I woke up the next day to A’s smiling face. We both had work to do so we parted ways. I made it back to the hostel in time for brekkie. There was a new German young lady sitting at the table that was very nice and shared some of her newly acquired Peruvian chocolate with me. Apparently, she had been traveling through South America for the better part of a year.
I did some client work and then went to pick up Ted’s laundry that he forgot about before leaving the country. One of the interesting things about Latin America is that not a lot of people have washing machines in their homes or apartments. So every block or so, there is a small drop-off laundry.
For lunch, I decided to have a Peruvian fruit salad made of granadilla, chirimoya, and tunas. I relaxed a little but soon got a ceviche craving and went and got some.
Later that night, I proposed that A and I go see the new Star Wars movie, but she had a family engagement back at Abuelitas. She told me to think about joining her. I realized that if my daughter, granddaughter, sister, half-sister, niece, or cousin were going to be traveling in some remote parts of the world with a man, I would like to meet him first. So I nutted up and headed over. Everyone was nice when I arrived and the drinks and food flowed.
My last full day in Peru began waking up next to A. We walked Dante, and then had some lovely pastries for breakfast. It was at this time that A made reservations for another restaurant on Anthony’s wall of fame, Chef Wong. In the meantime, she had some things to do, so I just relaxed. Luckily, I had some better clothes that I put on, and then we headed to Chef Wong.
Now, this was one of the most unique restaurant experiences I had ever had. First, the Uber dropped us off on some non-descript street. We walked over to a door that had a peephole like a speakeasy. We said we had a reservation and the burly Asian man behind the door looked behind him. He asked how many we were and said two. He lifted up his fingers in a V while looking behind him again. He then unlocked about five locks to let us in. It was a very small space with maybe six tables, three on each side. We were motioned to take a seat. A and I split a beer while I took in the surroundings. I saw Anthony’s picture and raised a toast.
It was a real chef’s restaurant in that you did not order anything; what he was making, you ate. The first course was the best fucking ceviche I had ever had in my entire life. Even A who had been eating ceviche in utero said it was the best she had ever had. I almost cried. Some because of the ceviche, some because of Anthony, some because of the fact that life has a funny sense of symmetry. I watched the Lima episode of No Reservations with a girlfriend on my futon back in New Orleans, then here I was with another beautiful woman sitting across from me. The main course was lomo saltado de pescado, which was basically like a fish stir fry which was again, amazing. While this was the most expensive restaurant I had eaten in South America, coming in at $70 per plate, it was very much worth it. A got the bright idea of introducing ourselves to Chef Wong and he was nice enough to pose for a picture with us. As we were leaving he told us to have a Merry Christmas.
Now, as we were heading back from the restaurant, the Peruvian fruit salad had its revenge. I needed to jump out of the Uber and run into a gas station toilet. Unfortunately, there was some guy already in there fixing his hair in the single bathroom and I begged him to get out. He took his time and gingerly walked out. I slammed and locked the door and turned the bathroom into a Jackson Pollack. It was very gross. What made it worse was the fact that not only did they have no TP, they had no paper towels, no soap, and no water. Apparently, this was common in Peru and why everyone, women especially, traveled with their own toilet paper.
After, A was really cool about the fact I jumped out of an Uber in the middle of traffic, like she was with everything. I cleaned up back at her apartment. We took a nap, then went to see the last Star Wars. It was here that something delineated our cultural differences. A grew up in Peru in the 90’s where the Shining Path routinely set off bombs in the city, killing thousands of people. So, she had been trained from a very young age to be situationally aware when out on the street. During the movie, a man stood up, and went out the front exit door while keeping his foot in the jam. He then came back in. In America, this was not normal behavior. I was very apprehensive, watching him and A could tell something was going on. When the guy sat back down, I realized that the potential danger had passed. After the movie, she asked why I was so apprehensive. I told her that in America, when a man gets up from a movie, leaves the theater from a side exit and comes back in, that is indicative of a possible shooting. This blew her mind. We headed back to my hostel to get my chargers and then headed back to A’s fo the night.
My last day in Peru started again seeing A’s lovely face. I headed back to my hostel to officially check out. Someone was coming over to buy some of A’s underwear and wanted me around just in case. Apparently, some drama had been brewing with her uncool roommate about leases and whatnot. I decided that there were a few things I still needed for Christmas, so as the panty raider had not arrived yet, I walked over to the Inca Market where I got two blankets, a llama keychain, and a Machu Picchu magnet.
We were supposed to be having a BBQ with her cool roommate a little later, so on my way back, I brought some coke and some beer. As the BBQ was not going to happen, after mixing up two rum and cokes, we went over to the pizza place right across the street and brought a pie back. As we were waiting, we talked about Brazil and possibly going to South East Asia together.
After eating, drinking, and being merry, it was time for A and I to take a little walk. She lived by the Malecon, which in this case meant a raised walkway overlooking the Pacific from the bluffs. As mentioned before, at this time of year, there were always clouds and haze at this time of day. However, on this particular day, at this particular time, we finally got our sunset. We kissed passionately, then headed back to her place where I could load up.
I checked in for my flight, which had not only changed times but carriers. I needed to leave at this very moment. A and I did not say goodbye, we said see you later in São Paulo. We hugged tightly, kissed again, then I got in the Uber and headed to the airport. On my way, Lima was all decorated for Christmas. There were Christmas trees, lights, and all throughout Lima, people had little stuffed elves hanging from their windows or balconies simulating breaking and entering to deposit gifts. It was incredibly strange to me to be celebrating it such hot weather, but then again, for everyone South of the equator, a white Christmas would not be normal.
After an hour and twenty-five minutes, I arrived at the airport. I tried checking in with Latam, but after 45 minutes, they told me to go to the American line. I thought that rude but realized they meant American Airlines. I went there and it was an additional 25 minutes, but I was finally able to check in. After that, security was no problem and neither was passport control. In the few minutes I had to spare, I tried buying some gum with the remaining Peruvian currency I had, which is when they asked for not only my boarding pass but my passport as well, which was incredibly strange. I then meandered onto the plane, found my seat, and headed back to the United States after exactly 10 months abroad.
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